I Didn't Vote for This

I'm a voter. I'm a taxpayer. I contribute to my country's economy. Through the mysterious alchemy of terminology and taxation, the sweat of my brow is transformed into income tax, social security and GST. Yes, I do my most honest part by each of these methods of reducing my discretionary income 'for the good of all.'

My just reward? The current leadership has not given me a housing writeoff such as the likes of Dr Cawich apparently needed and deserved. Nor, since the fact that I was actually born here apparently makes me a second-class citizen, have I received a single piece of land in the last frenzied weeks running up to the pre-election lunacy -or at any other time. Nope, not even a Christmas card did I receive from my UDP area rep, so busy was he shopping for turkey. No, my reward is the unrewarding task of paying the bill for all of it, shipping and handling (and advertising) included.

Yes, as a taxpayer, I have the privilege of paying for everything I just listed above. I'm paying for it and so is my boss and so are all of you. We are told to quit our whining, that Cawich & Co. now have discretionary income freed up to spend in the economy and it will circulate for the benefit of us all, but I doubt I'll feel it because I'll be one of the many paying for their state-sponsored shopping sprees, which I do hope takes place in Belize and not Miami or Chetumal. And the more tax money they take from me to give to their poor, the less discretionary funds I have left to give to those who genuinely need it, or to circulate in my country's economy. Sorry Salvation Army and St Vincent de Paul, your homeless are no longer priority. Tough luck Helpage, your senior citizens will need to fend for themselves, if they don't belong to the right party. Too bad, it's all so pathetically sad. Look Mr Politician, you cannot take from one mouth and give to the other and pretend that means you created something; that's not how it works, that's precisely how it fails.

It all gets blamed on the PUP, and deservedly so. I mean, the Said/Ralph/Ashcroft love triangle is the stuff of legend. What those two produced for their lordly master, and for themselves...well, let's just say I'll probably be paying for that well beyond my death. It's why you were voted out, Blue Man Group. And I'm not sorry I did it. What I am sorry for is that the set of SOBs I did vote for in 2008 turned out to be of an even sickier, sorrier, more destructive and less productive mentality than you were. The downward spiral continues, at dizzying speed.

Red is the colour of anger, and the reds have been angry little people for four years. Be warned Reds, your lava-hot anger has spilled over to me, and not in the way you'd hoped. Your one hit single in four years is 'Blame It on the Superbond.' That song's played so damned often I hear it in my sleep. It is the excuse for doing every evil, and for doing no good. You tantrum-happy clowns have done everything you can think of to amass massive wealth for yourselves in four years, and you've done it without shame. It's the sickest competition our country has ever seen in its thirty years of existence: "who gat mo dan who." When we boil it down to the bone though, red or blue, you're all as corrupt as each other, and over these thirty years we voters have lost every single time.

Now that the madness of election season is officially upon us (unofficially it never ended, I think), we get to see asinine ads from both sides. The Bucket, the Puppet, the Strip Tease, King Dean.... God help us if that's all you've got. Keep the schupidness to yourself and tell me what you plan to do with my money for the next five years. None of you seem to know, and that scares me to the point where I start to wonder if it's time for me to take my talent and taxpaying ways elsewhere and leave you and your nonproductive constituents to make your Haiti-bound way without me.

I haven't made up my mind how/whether to vote yet. Ms Yasmin didn't interview me, but she's reported my feelings accurately. I'm undecided because the choices give me no decision. No, Mr Third Party, you don't present anything credible either -nothing personal, it's just the company you keep. But here's one more thought to add to the pile: if you Reds are gonna spend the next five years whining about the Superbond, then maybe I should vote in the guys who don't dare bitch about it because they gave birth to the damn thing. Maybe that fact will motivate them to do the right things about my economy and about crime. Let's face it, red and blue are both corrupt, and setting that as the baseline indisputable fact, I'd love it if someone could explain to me why I should waste my vote on a party that acts like the working taxpayer's hard work and general honesty and ambition make him Public Enemy Number Four, ranking just below Ashcroft, Said and Ralph?

You know, you clowns in red suits have left me with one haunting question: if you can, all of you, get so damned rich in only four years, why the hell is it that I only get poorer every single day? What verse in 'Blame It on the Superbond' explains that fact Boots?

What's That Smell?

As a writer, I've been watching current events in my Belize and as we stumble through the news cycle from murder to scandal and back again, have composed numerous articles in my head to describe what I'm seeing. As quickly as I compose them, I dispose of them, running them through a mental shredder because 'that's not quite what I wanted to say.' However, as I'm sure someone profound said at some point, the only way to get to the destination is to start the journey.

Make no mistake about this: I love my country. I love Belize with all the desperation of two lovers who fight all the time, but in the end acknowledge that they can't live without each other and thus after a day of argument, go to bed secure in the peace of that knowledge. What I don't like, the thing that causes major conflict between head and heart, is what's happening to my beautiful country, and why.

Now, before you rush to apply your personal labels, let me make clear that I am neither PUP nor UDP. I have no patience with blind loyalty, and this is the primary requirement of party membership, therefore neither side will tolerate the likes of me, a fact of which I am inordinately proud. So if you are a blind party loyalist who can bear no message that isn't tinted with your favorite color, what I have to say isn't for your ears, or um, eyes.

That, however, is where I begin with my observations of the flaws that mar Belize's natural beauty. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? It seems these days as though the thought police are on patrol, armored in ignorance, equipped with a full arsenal of abusive language and growing rabidly (pun intended) in numbers. Say the wrong thing too loudly and find yourself 'bashed' by one media house or another; become someone's weekly cartoon. Maybe we never have had freedom of speech. I mean, my grandfather always tells me stories about Leigh Richardson being threatened and leaving the country and about the Billboard Press being burned down. Is this ancient history, or was it the beginning of current events?

These days, a lot of the 'wrong thing' that you may rashly criticize fits under the heading of corruption. Today a politician comes from the people, and he'll remind you of that every chance he gets, even though he's long since forgotten it himself.  Grassroots-poor, he wins in a division and within months, if he has landed a cushy Cabinet portfolio, he suddenly has multiple houses, expensive women, a car he might once have had the job to wash. Dare to openly observe this sudden wealth to the nearest loyalist of his chosen party and brace yourself for a tongue-lashing. Sadly, the accusations will include calling you an opposition supporter, telling you that the opposition did worse, claiming that "it's our turn; we have to give our people a break." Lately, the shrill tones of "where were you when the opposition was doing their dirty deeds" overpower the voices of protest against the profligacy we can no longer afford -not that we ever could afford it, mind you. Right versus wrong no longer have any relevance in the national debate, and this is a sad, sad thing for our democracy.

Our leaders, when in opposition, make the most beautiful promises. They tell us what they know we want to hear, promise that they'll do what we want them to do, and we, their dance partner in this eternal tango, go along and give them the chance to keep their promises, even though we know they won't. Twelve years ago, we heard the promises and saw instead wholesale delivery of our country into private hands. Yes, the Lord became our Shepherd and he did not want for anything, and we were outraged, remember? Two years ago, we were promised deliverance from the Lord and his bloated, corrupted, decaying lackeys and we greedily swallowed the hook with which that promise was baited. As part of the package, we were promised transparency but instead got corruption wrapped in the pretty, crackling cellophane of vengeance and tied with a thick ribbon of nepotism. 

Where were we when the last crowd did the dirty deed of fiscal rape? Right there biding our time. We know not from revolution; our teeth and claws are sharp, pretty things that we've never learned to use, but we do know how to vote out the nasty boys, so we did what we knew to do. But the opposition-who-became-government asks that question every single time we point out the obvious. It is their only defence, this offensive question. My answer to them? I was preparing to give you a chance to be the better man, and I see now that you've blown it.

Don't tell me we're less corrupt than we were, that comment alone confirms that we are corrupt. Don't tell me the other guy did worse, voting you in was not granting you a license to do whatever you want as long as you keep it 10% below him. For one thing, your measuring stick is way off, and we now think you're just as bad. See, corruption is corruption, regardless of scale. According to the law a thief is a thief no matter what he steals, and thus it is with you. While people continue to starve and live in shanties, don't content yourself with blaming the other guy when you aren't doing that which it is in your power to do. Oh yes, and by color-coding everyone and filing them according to assigned color, you take us further down the path of national destruction. We, yes, WE elected you to govern ALL of us. If we have broken the law, deal with us accordingly. If we have not, and we are in fact law-abiding citizens, productive members of society who just happen to have a difference of political opinion, suck it up, quit whining and let us be stupid and wrong in our thinking and you just get on with governing the entire country responsibly, which is the job you were hired to do.

What can we do anyway? Who listens to us? Are we to vote in yet another failed-government-in-waiting come 2013? A thousand times 'no!' to that one, emphatically no, because John & Co. have done nothing to earn my respect, much less my vote. They've been too busy saving their own ample derrieres and fighting over the spoils instead of cleaning up their well-exposed act. But I'll tell you flat out that this gang, this fountain of excuses for not properly leading, can't be allowed to continue either. The way I see it, if we don't begin to demand better, then we deserve to stay on the downhill slope, hurtling headlong toward the cliff's edge. 

I'll leave you with this question: do you remember when Belcan Bridge was blanketed with the smoke of burning tires? Do you remember the government of the day's howls of indignance because a certain Opposition Leader had called for civil disobedience? 

Maybe it's time we took up his suggestion.

Parasite!

–noun
1. an organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.
2. a person who receives support, advantage, or the like, from another or others without giving any useful or proper return, as one who lives on the hospitality of others.

Synonyms:
2. sycophant, toady, leech, sponge, hanger-on.

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.

par·a·site (par'?-sit')
n.
1. Biology An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host.
2. 1. One who habitually takes advantage of the generosity of others without making any useful return.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

parasite par·a·site (par'?-sit')
n. 1. An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host.

The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary
Copyright © 2002, 2001, 1995 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.

You guys get the drift? Parasites are nasty little things that feed off their hosts, sometimes to the point of destroying them, but give absolutely nothing in return. In our politics, that person is a fixed part of the food chain. In our politics, sometimes we even have layers of parasites, i.e. the ones who are running the state feed off our taxpayer funds and the leeches attached to them feed off their fat host in turn. Otherwise known as catching the crumbs from the master's table.

What we are seeing now, the implosion of the two major political parties, is the result of their parasites taking turns draining the ultimate host to the point of near death. The spoils are fewer, and the scrambling for them both more vicious and more desperate. The ultimate host is our beleaguered, nearly destitute country, and every leech in every hue is responsible for Belize's deplorable condition. See, a greedy leech will kill its host, and therefore ultimately destroy its sole means of support. This is the message behind the fable of the golden goose, but we never learn, do we?

The easiest way to recognize this leechlike political creature is to look for someone who, before entering politics, was near bankruptcy (in business) or of a certain salaried income level. He (or she) enters politics and is suddenly, inexplicably, oozing wealth from every pore. He/she builds a multimillion dollar mansion; he/she brings their business from pending death to crazy wealth; he/she can own multiple houses for rent when the bank was once foreclosing on the only house they had.... Again, you've seen it and you know someone whose foot fits that metaphorical shoe. Unexplainable wealth elsewhere triggers investigation, but not in Belize, because parasites on the other side are satisfied merely to think "my turn will come." You see, parasites cannot survive without their host body to feed on. Parasites cannot successfully run an honest business, and parasites are never satisfied with a decent, honestly earned income. When in opposition, parasites' names are called in foreclosures, and parasites get listed for unpaid bills of every kind. But parasites out of power cannot loudly condemn ruling parasites lest they cut off their own path to wealth.

Have you ever met someone who holds no official position but who can still get things done almost effortlessly? Think of land transactions, trade license and property tax discounts, passage of goods with no duty paid, that kind of thing. These days it seems you can even include the phrase nolle prosequi in their repertoire. This parasite manifests the kinds of sudden, unexplained wealth gains mentioned above, and is nine times out of ten attached leechlike to the side of a powerful minister. The tenth parasite has assumed a position that gives power to make a profit without toadying to a Minister...except to keep the position, of course. This parasite will use his(her) affiliation to cajole, bully, bribe public servants to get things done for himself and his friends, legality be damned.

How about our elected leaders? Now, it's not fair to say that all of our elected leaders or their opposite numbers are parasites, but the growing unpopularity of our two ruling parties and the growing stigma attached to politics as practiced in our little nation state means that there's plenty of opportunity for the leeches to become legislators. Remember the UDP in 1998 and for the following five years? No one would have anything to do with them, and so they had to take any and all comers, leeches included. Today's PUP is paddling a similar watercraft up a similar creek.

In order for this country to survive...and maybe one day thrive, the few elected leaders that aren't parasites ought to wake up, step up and crack down on their colleagues. Those elected leaders ought also to be pushing for reforms that clip the wings of their fellow demigods, but no politician willingly gives up his own power, so here we remain. In political expediency (or will) lies the rub: will the current Prime Minister apply discipline in a decisive manner even when it may be politically damaging to do so? None have before him. From 1993 to 1998, Manuel Esquivel was managing a very fragile coalition, so that his Ministers could misbehave with impunity. The events of 1998 to 2008 include many more stories of Ministers pillaging our national accounts...and we know how that went. Now we have a rogue Mayor, but she's far from the only sinner. Were Cabinet to turn a mirror upon itself.... The question is, will Z be the sole example made in the name of transparency? If the UDP even makes an example of her, that is.

At the rate we're going, the messages being delivered through the endless red and blue scandals are: 1) don't get caught; 2) if you do get caught, brazen it out. At no point has anyone demonstrated why you shouldn't do the nasty in the first place. And the leeches continue to suck the host dry, and we as a people continue to tolerate them.

Whose turn is it next? Let's set them straight from now. No more leeches! No more leeches! No more leeches! Come on, say it...no more leeches!

Much Ado About Absolutely Nada

So Z loaded her favorite currency into the matrimonial purse. So what? By which I obviously mean, "Congrats Z, on making it official!"  Anyway, other than the fact that after much speculation we are thrilled to know she opted to marry locally, this ain't no big deal in the scheme of current affairs. It doesn't stop crime or lower the cost of living or clean up the city...except for the parking spots along the wedding route for one afternoon.

I do congratulate the Moyas on mixing work and play for their honeymoon in Barbados. Being the above-board lady that she is, I am absolutely certain that Z's paying the tab herself for all the plane fares and hotel and such, so kudos to the newlyweds on not fleecing the country to pay for the pleasure portion...not everybody would be so straight-up, you know?

For the media, can we PLEASE not see anymore wedding pictures? Please, let it go. I mean the fact that the Mayor got married and that the colours were white and cotton candy pink and that they kissed for the paparazzi -that did set tongues wagging though, didn't it- and that all the uppercrust of a specific political hue were present...eh, enough! The defiance of swine flu protocols...well, some are more equal than others, according to a story about a certain farm in which the (oops!) swine ruled. So those leading boars et al deemed worthy of attending would automatically be deemed impervious to the virus, no?

As I said, let it go. In a city where the Mayor rules as an absolute monarch over subjects living and dying in unnecessary poverty and squalor, it is somehow fitting that a royal wedding be held in the midst of the misery. Ah, let them eat [wedding] cake!

Democracy Is For Suckers

Oh Dean. Dear old Dean, fourth Honourable Prime Minister, yet to be Right, but Honourable nonetheless. I have a simple question for you, and I hope that you'll be able to provide your voting public with a simple, no-nonsense, monosyllabic kind of answer. The question is, when will you start to really run the country?

It sounds like a funny question, I know, and you're probably inclined to be a little offended. But bear with me here, I'll get right down to making my case.

Ihe first fact is, crime is only getting worse. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but your Cabinet's decision to put Crispin as Top Cop didn't exactly scare the criminals off the street. Hell, what does it matter if the cops do start arresting all the bad guys? They'll get off in court anyway. Between Dickie Bradley and witness intimidation, a criminal has to be pretty stupid (or broke) to get convicted these days -and if he does, he won't hang anyway. Which leads me to a good question: what are your fellow legal eagles doing about crime besides profiting from all the court activity?

That was crime. Now let's talk about Lands and Immigration, both the bane of the common man's existence. All of your friends probably have no problem getting their passport or their land title, but the rest of us look at transactions in either department as less enjoyable than to a trip to Hell in high summer. So when are you gonna get Gapi to start doing his job? Actually, when are you gonna start taking more than a politically-biased look at Gapi? You'd be amazed what you'll find...the rest of us are quite dismayed.

On the business side, judging from the 'railing up' I've been hearing, it looks like all of the business community feels like there's a gigantic bullseye painted on its collective back. The only folks who aren't murmuring are the, um, 'naughty' ones...many of whom are your most boisterous supporters. According to them, life is good, taxes are optional, and who the heck cares if a law or two disintegrates under their treatment? Unethical + immoral + illegal = untouchable due to political connections. And to think we were silly enough to think that you lot would be better than the last -we didn't realize that 'better' meant 'more skilled.'

I really don't mean to lecture, and I admit that armchair quarterbacks and backseat drivers are my least favourite people, but honestly, there is more to governing than trying nonstop to nail the Lord's carcass to the wall -not that I have a problem with that, we just need more from you. Here's what we want: control your ministers; stop defending your friends and overlooking their misdeeds -bad is bad no matter who you are; begin to set an example for the rest of us by starting the cleanup at the top.

Mister Prime Minister, we need Belize to be cleaned up, and in order to achieve that, we need you to start exhibiting that real leadership you promised. When should we expect to see it?

On The Move

Those of you who follow these scribbles of mine will know that Friday night’s revelations on Channel 5 regarding Mayor Z’s possible ineligibility to run gave me nothing less than the kind of laughter that sets your whole body shaking and sends tears streaming down your face.

However, it does take the fun out of it if this is how the race ends, so after I got done laughing, I got down to some serious thinking –well, sort of serious.  First, what sort of proof was provided that she’s now fully resident at the palatial estate beyond the river and overlooking the sea?  Did someone provide pictures of (shudder) her underwear drawer?  Did they find a dresser full of hair-teasing tools and lotions and potions meant to keep her looking adorable for all except the Belize Times?  In other words, what constitutes incontrovertible proof?  I look forward to seeing if Z deems this one worth answering come Monday.

I will say that I do agree that if you’re not willing to live in a municipality, you ought not to wish to govern it either.  Therefore, I think that the quoted amendment was not only appropriate, but too long in coming.  Kudos to the UDP lawmakers no matter what their motivation was –and I hope they are not now persuaded to reverse course on the matter.  Remember the various City Councillors in the past who went abroad and ‘forgot’ to resign?  But maybe, since Z built and moved out to her mansion when she was Mayor, she kind of knew how her leadership of the City would turn out, no? Call her desertion more of an admission, if you will.

Over not a few drinks this weekend, I and some of my friends did wonder who spilled the beans re HomeGate.  I gave it 50/50 that it was her own party, and one or two others agreed.  Others in the group tended to cling to their faith in the diabolical nature of the PUP, and I gave them their props too.  Either way, this is an unambiguous test of the UDP leadership: will they suffer their own law to be overturned so as to maintain their candidate at any cost?  Or will they use this as the ‘out’ to rid themselves of a serious political liability?  Also, will Jules get his groove back where City Hall scoops are concerned?  Either way, Monday’s news should be interesting; let’s see what happens next. 

However this latest episode turns out, I will wend my unwilling way to the polls come Wednesday to cast my vote for God-knows-what to lead the City.  While I may vote for Chubby, let me make it absolutely clear that I do not regard him as anything other than a ‘NO’ vote for Zenaida.  Let’s face it, the man is so boring I can’t even stay awake long enough to mock him.

Yuh knoa, I wonder if Z has a spare floor in The Bates Motel in case we all need to move out of Belize City –or in case Creole Waggans wants to open a Ladyville branch.  She and Mr$ Moya can’t be using all three, can they?

PUDP...It's All The Same To Me

What the hell is going on with our leaders?!  City Council allegedly couldn’t make their payments to Social Security (yet Mayor Zenaida could pay her brother’s business) for several months.  Her only answer to the ongoing accusations on the matter is to, in her usual arrogant way, state that she has answered the matter already and that the previous City Council was equally irregular in its payments.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that why we fired that crowd?!?!  And didn’t you promise us that you’d be better?  Well, saying they were just as bad doesn’t exactly scream improvement, does it?  The more things change....

Speaking of how bad things are at City Hall, where’s our Municipal Audit?  Mr. Auditor General, are you allowing yourself to be compromised by political necessities?  Because I’ll tell you this: you are paid by us and as such you answer to us, and we want our audit -before March 4th.  Hell, if you’re just a little behind, feel free to give us what you’ve got and tell us when the rest will be ready.  You readers remember when Ralph wouldn’t allow any criminal charges against his brother?  This crowd promised to be better.  The more things change….

Connected friends can avoid paying taxes with impunity while businesses that already pay more than their fair share get taxed further to pay for those friends.  Try avoiding your SSB payment for a month and see what happens.  Try owing money for your trade and liquor license and see how long you can stay open.  Try to keep from paying your property tax and see how that goes over with Zenaida & Co.  Try talking Customs down on the duty they want to charge you and see how helpful they are.  Ever made a mistake of a few cents on your GST or Business Tax or been late by a day on either?  But there are those who can do all that and much, much more.  It's just not Archie Lee's turn anymore.  The more things change….

The Labour Ministry wants businesspeople to pay more severance to their employees –three and five times more than they’ve planned for.  Not a bad idea, until you look around you and see how quiet things are with businesses.  Then the government complains about businesses not lowering their prices.  How can they?  What costs have declined for them?  Not taxes, labour, or utility costs, that’s for sure.  You see, the PUP claimed to be all about social justice, then proceeded to help their favoured few shred the economy.  The UDP claim to be all about social justice, and are doing everything to help their favoured few take what’s left.  The more things change….

The current Prime Minister says that “corruption has been eliminated at the topmost level of government,” meaning him personally, one assumes –or maybe the Governor General.  Who the hell cares that one athlete is clean when the whole rest of the team is on steroids?  Same argument goes for any member of PUP who sanctioned what happened by keeping silent while it was happening.  Guilt by association, it’s all the rage around here.  The more things change….

Look guys, economic patriotism does not mean killing the cow for a steak dinner tonight then wondering why you can’t have milk with your cereal tomorrow.  Economic patriotism means keeping your local businesses in business and able to do business without the constant fear of starvation through taxation.  Economic patriotism actually means embracing certain free market principles so that consumers have a choice and local businesses have to learn to compete and work toward exporting their products in order to thrive –protectionism kills innovation and quality, did you know that?  Have some pasta and think about that.  Hell, economic patriotism even means creating a climate that allows shoppers to be able to afford to shop in their own country -but remember, do it without starving businesses to make it happen.

You know, you can at least try to pretend you love your country.  So far you aren’t fooling anyone into thinking that you want to win the job again in 2013.  Did you notice that there’s a global crisis on?  Has anyone told you it’s now hitting home and that your actions determine how Belize comes out of it?  Trust them, they’re not the ones telling lies.

Kamikaze Cane Farmers

Someone died today. Whatever the circumstances of his death, he didn't have to die. Today, though it would be easy to find the comedic elements in the tragedy, to find them I'd have to go past the fury that's blocking my vision. Why fury? Because someone died today, and his death was unnecessary.

For the benefit of strangers to my country and those who have logged on from their mid-jungle gopher holes, let me explain briefly that sugar cane and politics have always been a combustible mix in Belize. You see, our politicians have neither strength of will nor courage of conviction, and it takes a great deal of both to take on the cane farmers.

In some respects, today's clash has been coming for decades. In another way, it has been coming for about three years. Either way, what you have is an ailing industry producing substandard product and being propped up and indulged by successive governments.  Sounds sensible, doesn't it?  No, I didn't think so either.

Now, the core sampler in question is a tool for measuring quality. Higher quality logically means more sugar per ton of cane delivered. In a world where commodity prices aren’t the best, and quotas are disappearing, it should go without saying that Belize’s survival interest lies in producing the best possible product, to get the best possible prices.

Instead the cane farmers are willing to fight to the death for the right to kill their industry. And at the cost of one life today, they won one more battle for their self-destruction. Tonight the core sampler is unplugged, and “same-old, same-old” triumphs yet again.

Mr. Politician, as a taxpayer, I feel I have the right to tell you this: if these guys want to destroy the industry, don’t help them do it by indulging them for the sake of votes.  Because when the sugar industry dies –is murdered– you’re going to expect me to pay for the farmers to avoid starvation.  And I won’t have it!

In other words, don’t expect me to donate the fuel for the cane farmers’ kamikaze flights.

Headlines You'll Never Read in the Belize News

Increased Illegal Immigration from China -Officials Blame Deep Potholes for Providing Access

Breaking News! Insiders Confirm Zenaida's Hair is Real

Political Parties Agree...to Disagree -Public D'uh Rating Hits Unprecedented High

"Clear the Land's" Secret Twin Brother, "Clear the Sea" Identified as Gaspar Vega

Attorney General Admits Justice System "May Have One or Two Flaws"

PUC Head Agrees to Salary Decrease in Line With Fuel Price Reductions

PUP Party Postponed Indefinitely -No Cheese for Wine-rs

Honesty Not Best Policy, Survey of Belizean Politicians Reveals

Former Finance Minister Makes Statement to Court -Says "Nyah-nyah, Can't Catch Me!"

And finally...

Mayor "Just Dizzy" About Roundabouts, Says Trees in Parks are "Highly Overrated, Yuh Knoa?"

My Big Fat Kruffy Wedding

That's what one of my friends calls it, this 'wedding of the century' between our PM and his Princess Bride.

Kim, my dear, you don't know me, but since I apparently already think of you as my First Lady, I feel compelled to give you a leebit…er…I mean, a modicum of advice. You see, we Belizeans don't really care that you're getting married. For the most part we tend to think, if we bother to think about it at all, that it's about time Dean made an honest woman out of you, whatever that means. We do wish you well, most of us. It is, I would say, a story written by Barbara Cartland, if she came to Belize, dropped all the noble titles, added a three-year-old daughter to the love story, and spoke more fluent Kriol…or any Kriol at all.

However, when you decide to go to a newspaper to tell them that you want a private wedding without any fuss, what you will get is…well…fuss. When you decide to fly in the Bishop of Belize for your wedding, that’s fuss. When you tell the newspaper that the dress is by Monique Lhuillier, and that the groom will wear “Armani or something like that,” yep, you guessed it, that’s fuss too. A guest list of 110? I think you’ve succeeded in importing a fair amount of fuss and extinguishing the desired privacy. But you’re marrying a big, important guy –whose marital history is way too detailed for such an article (a kid in jail needs mentioning for this?)– so a certain amount of fuss is in order, and I can see why you’d look forward to a cozy chat with the Savannah Morning News. Just don’t then say for the record that you didn’t want ‘fuss.’ That’s more coyness than our culture can handle with a straight face.

Regrettably, the long lenses of the Belizean paparazzi do not stretch to Savannah, and that, I’m guessing, is the point. Perhaps Ms. Landers will report on the event now that she's brought it to our attention, no? Honestly, I personally don’t care what country you get married in, that’s your prerogative as Princess Bride. However, if you had wanted less fuss and practically no bother to speak of, you could have still done it here somewhere –our paparazzi don’t work weekends.

Kim, we wish you well as you walk down the aisle with Dean, it apparently is a marriage made in designer heaven. May you have a long and happy life together. And most of all, we thank you for the laughter you’ve given us courtesy of the Savannah Morning News.

The Blagojevich Doctrine

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has done a lot for America (and the world) in the last couple of months.  On center stage we’ve had a country (and the world) reeling from the effects of a recession so deep that nobody knows where the bottom is (nor does anyone want to find out), and then the biggest political clown we’ve seen in some time enters from stage left.  If you take it from the point of view of dark humor, which I do, this guy provides serious comic relief.  Admittedly, if I were an Illinois voter/taxpayer, I’d probably be pretty miffed at me for laughing.

Whatever, I’m a Belizean voter through and through.  Even when I wonder why I’m bothering, I still hike down to the polling station in my division, brave the long lines, and dutifully cast my vote for the person who in my opinion might be the least crooked and the most likely to give half a damn about my country even while he/she’s picking my pockets clean.  I’m not kidding about the pockets; the last gal who got my vote of semi-confidence has even taken the lint!  Maybe she needs it to mop the marble floors of her sumptuous abode, you know?

What do I think of Blago?  I’m thinking the man is merely a victim of geography.  Be honest, if he were politicking here, what he’s accused of would seem to be business (and politics) as usual, right?  Let’s say someone here taped [your area rep] discussing a board appointment on the phone.  Do you think the conversation would have been much different?  I mean, other than the cuss words used –like maybe saying r—s instead of f—k every so often?  Sadly, we sort of expect this stuff by now.

I admit, I don’t especially care at this point which party’s in power at what electoral level; they have become all the same to me, except that some are better con artists than others.

What does bother me is this question:  is our current PM just naïve, or is he disingenuous?  It’s a fair question, given his statement of certainty during his New Year’s Address, where he said “…it is my proudest boast that the corruption at the very top, which became endemic under the last government, has been utterly and completely eliminated.”  Whaaat?!

PM, I do know lawyer-speak when I hear it, so I figure that what you mean is that YOU’RE not corrupt because you’re the guy at the very top.  And in that respect I’m willing to believe you.  But unless you make all the rules, enforce them yourself, fire your entire Cabinet and never leave the country again so that no one else ‘acts’ in your place, that’s not good enough. 

Prime Minister, my ma teach me when I mi small ‘nuh fi sway fi nobaddy.’  She also taught me to ‘si wid yuh own eye.’  Now here’s me, giving you a chance, figuring you mean well, that you’ll get things under control, and then a mere eleven months after you got the job you’re trying to trick me into thinking that the biggest, most entrenched thing out there done fix?  That the air is now clear of the toxic, smog-thick stench of corruption and that we can toss our gas masks out for SEL to maybe pick up if they were paid this week?  No, no, NO man!!!  Are you really willing to swear for your entire Cabinet?  Because we need more than just you being straight to achieve incorruptible governance ‘at the top.’

Plus, residents of your largest municipality are finding that corruption can be deadly at municipal government levels too.  We’ve found out firsthand that it becomes both contagious and corrosive when mixed with arrogant, aggressive incompetence. This corruption spreads the garbage and, like acid, eats ever-deeper potholes into our neglected road surfaces.

Prime Minister, YOU don’t have to be corrupt in order for corruption to rule.  All you have to do is turn a blind eye to it.  Do you know the cost of that blindness?  It makes for impotent leadership, which in turn leads to anarchy.  Trickle-down corruption, even now in full flood, creates an ineffective judicial-legal system, reduces tax collections, and encourages both actual and economic vigilantism.  In short, the people have begun to take the law into their own hands and to keep their tax money to themselves too –we’ll talk about that some other time.

Mr Prime Minister, it isn’t enough to say that YOU’RE not corrupt; you must be seen to be actively rooting out corruption, starting at the level just below the ‘very top’ (if I correctly interpret your lawyerly hair-cleaving) and energetically ripping it out at all levels –without political prejudice, if you please!  Use both hands and your teeth if need be.  Only when you’ve done this can we truly have the “sunlit terrain of justice and prosperity that we all desire and deserve.”

Meanwhile, I’ll continue watching Blago and wondering if he learned his politics from us.  If he ever says r—s I’ll know the answer.

International Anti-Corruption Day

Okay people, the UN finally gave us one day that openly addresses the situation our country faces on all 365 of them. That day is today, December 9th 2008, it’s called International Anti-Corruption Day, and the intention is to raise public awareness of corruption and what people can do to fight it.

Now the good news is that in terms of the UN’s public awareness goals, we in Belize can proudly say that we’re halfway there. Yep, we are making progress. UN boys, you can go back and tell your bosses that the public in Belize is fully aware of corruption. Of course, now that we know about it, what do we do with it?

Let’s see, while I'm aware of it in general terms, I still have a few questions, just to get a feel for the possibilities/limits re corruption:

Do two wrongs make a right? If I forcibly rip an illegal red license plate off a ministerial (i.e. government-owned) vehicle, is that then a legal act?  Because those stupid things are driving me crazy, and I may yet do that!

If I’m found driving my boss’ government car with contraband liquor in the trunk, is it appropriate for him to suspend me, or is it more ethical for him just to fire me? Keep in mind, if he fires me, I might know something, yuh knoa? Me breaking the law, that’s secondary to other considerations, right?

If I divert money intended for another project to pay for a project that I never should have guaranteed in the first place, a project I supported against the gale force winds of public fury, is that naughty of me? I mean, we’re only talking about, say, maybe $20 million or so, and I didn’t pocket a penny from that particular transaction, so how could that be wrong?

If the stink of corruption is heavy upon some of my political donors, it’s still okay for me to take their money and reward them with choice appointments, right? I mean, I can’t control their corruption so it’s nothing to do with me...right?

Okay, now I know the answer to this one, so I’ll just list it, it’s not actually a question: as a government minister, it is perfectly acceptable for me to get involved in real estate or contract or tender awards, using my power to influence transactions. If the buyer is so happy that he gifts me with a suitcase full of cash, how could that possibly be wrong?

Similarly, it cannot possibly be wrong for me to allow the importation of products that are, um, restricted from importation. The fact that a supporter or even family member might benefit from this selectively lifted restriction is purely coincidence.

Finally, and only 'cause I'm tired and it's late and I'm sleepy, I'll throw in this last, easy one.  If the city suffers and is strewn with garbage because the cleaners don't get paid regularly; if potholes aren't getting fixed at any visible rate of speed; if major commercial downtown streets are inaccessible to traffic for ridiculous lengths of time; if said streets remain unhealthily dusty, are ridiculously designed despite all complaints made beforehand, and don't seem to be getting fixed any year soon...isn't this a good time for the City Council to bring up the word 'raise?'

Yeah, I thought so.

Can you think of other examples where politicians’ moral compasses have clearly lost true north? If you can, and I bet you already have, add your thoughts using the comment feature below.

Positiveness, Jules, Positiveness!

On 15th October, the Prime Minister summarized the Mayor’s receipt of an excess $90,000 in salary, stipend, or whateveryacallit, as a ‘miscommunication’ or ‘misunderstanding.’ If you did this in the private sector, your employer would zoom past those ‘mis’es, continue past ‘misappropriation’ and land on ‘embezzlement’ or ‘theft.’ Or, maybe he’d overlook the ‘mis’take if he thought you brought him several thousand customers in return, true? Guilt and results are inversely related, apparently. So, given that in the World of Politics, the only results that matter are how many convention votes she (ahem) commissioned, Her Lordship’s not guilty –it’s just reimbursement of expenses.

These days, the public sector is the center of our own Bizarro World, where beggars are choosers, losers win, and immorality is the new morality. Only under such rules can I believe that Mayor Z deserves this lee bonus the PM granted her. But given the number of personnel now on suspension from City Hall, she might be the only critter left minding the shop, except for the cleaning lady and a coupla Charlie Prices. Okay, let’s give her a raise! Summarizing the rest of a Mayor’s daily concerns:

Potholes? Trivial.

Garbage-strewn, dust-laden streets? Insignificant.

Overgrown rat-infested empty lots? Irrelevant!

Unpaid taxes we’re too lazy to collect? Wayne, say something! Do that whining voodoo that you do so well!

An invitation to fly halfway around the world? Come, Dalla Moya, pack your bags and carry mine, we fly Fus’ Class, yuh knoa?

Well, the lady disappeared for a bit (see Missing: One Belize City Mayor), but she’s back with a giggling vengeance (and wanting that raise) while many lesser folk are in trouble over ‘alleged fabrications’ (Mrs Perriot sure is erudite) of much smaller dalla values than $90,000 –but we finally get to say ‘misappropriation.’ Hardly seems fair, true? Here in Bizarro World, villainy is worshipped in exact proportion to the profit it returns.

Being taken for a fool is irritating, even more irritating than standing in line behind a guy who won’t stop picking his nose. Can you see it? Our politicians as belittling nosepickers? But if we, the people standing watching them dig for gold, remain polite and silent in our disgust, how can we expect them to stop?

So Jules, make sure the only colours you see are black and white –of the right or wrong kind. Whether someone is red or blue, Moya or Musa, Vega or Briceno, Fonseca or Zaldivar, it doesn’t matter. Once they injure our country, morally or fiscally, aim your cameras at them. That’s positiveness, Jules!

And Z, shrilling on about $20 million doesn’t make your $90,000 right; it just means you haven’t reached that level. Oh, and look up "red herring."  Get a mature grip on your own tattered reputation. Right now, your ego can’t fit in the whole three stories of the mansion you chose to build outside the limits of the battered city you ‘mis’represent, but your integrity couldn’t furnish a single room.

Keep gigglin’ Z, we’re watching.

Starting Over

I haven’t done this in a while, and to tell you the truth, I almost quit completely. You see, bloggers draw their energy and motivation from their audiences. The comments readers make, whether they agree or disagree, get bloggers going, set their mental juices flowing. If you’re silent, eventually we go silent. Hell, what’s the use of shouting when there’s no one to hear? Mind you, I wasn’t angry at my mute readership, I just figured I was doing it wrong, that I wasn’t being provoking enough. So I'll work on that if you do your part.

The idea behind this little project is to get dialogue going. I figure if you can afford a computer, an internet connection, and know how to surf the web, then you’re capable of rational thought and intellectual discussion. If you’re speaking anonymously you can speak freely, right? So I challenge you to make your comments, forward this blog to everyone you know, get the discussion going. Let’s make this thing so big that the politicians have to take notice. Then, by our anonymity, let’s make them crazy by preventing them from buying us off as they have other advocacy groups.

Use this (as well as Belize Watch) as one more forum to let the guys in charge know that we’re not taking any more abuse from them. Use all forums available, tell everyone about your thoughts, make everything you know public; get the dark stuff into the light. And if you have information you want to share, post it here or email it to belizebeliever@gmail.com.

In the meantime, let’s start this relationship over. Hi, I’m pissed, and you are…?

Red, Blue and Shades of Gray

A hilarious thing happened to me the other day. Within the space of a half-day I was, with equal vehemence, called both a PUP and a UDP. Both of my accusers threw their insults at me with similar distaste. I was at first offended; then I shifted gears to amusement because the reason for the accusation was the same on both sides: I had dared to criticize the party they supported!

Now, you need to understand that I’m an average Belizean. Maybe a little more educated than most, but average in that I go out and earn my daily bread in a job that, while spiritually unrewarding, allows me to finance that which fulfills my life. Average citizen that I am, I share in my fellow citizens’ fury every time a politician does something that tarnishes his office. Our angst, you see, is colorblind. And our colorblindness reveals certain negative yet increasingly common traits or habits in politicians of both major parties when they are in office:*

Get a really baaad car. The ministerial ride is a total babe magnet, and your vehicle choice will be one of the most important decisions you make as Minister. Of course, these days, with all the nice cars out there you also ought to slap a red license plate on there so the babes know for sure who you are. Man, does that send them right into your arms!

Taste the power. Hey, you’re a minister now, you must know that means you can do anything you want. Por Dios…and you are Dios…who can stop you from doing it? Go ahead, use your name and rank everywhere, the people will be breathless as you wield your power to give your best friend land, or make sure that your constituent gets that job, appointment or contract, whether or not he deserves it. Incidentally, this is one way to win the working man’s heart, when you give his lazy, shiftless neighbor gifts untold just because said neighbor controls fourteen votes.

Profile, profile, profile. You, by virtue of your victory and subsequent ministerial appointment, have been rendered psychic. You therefore can tell, just by looking at any person in the street, whether they voted for or against you. As the Miss Cleo of politicians you will know with absolute certainty that someone voted against you by their family name, the clothes they wear, the food they eat, and because they didn’t fall on their knees to kiss your butt the moment you walked in the room. If you even think someone voted against you, they are The Enemy, remember this and rough ‘em up accordingly. Odds are your career will be just as successful as Miss Cleo’s if you follow your psychic instincts.

Power = wealth within 5 years. Being omnipotent, and psychic too, you are in a position to take advantage of opportunities, whether or not you deserve them. Be creative, and things being what they are, you will make sure to have a retirement package ready for the end of your five-year contract. Just in case. In short, plan for the day when your friends turn out to be enemies you couldn’t see because they ducked behind your butt and planted kisses there for camouflage.

Criticism is always politically motivated. This is where I came in. Try to discipline yourself to recite the mantra “that’s political.” Whenever someone disapproves of your action, be it media, organization or private citizen, say “that’s political” and the comment will magically be made ineffective. Take care with this one though, as the long term effect has more than once been to make ruling governments jobless.

The day that I was so viciously and bilaterally accused, I went home thinking I had done something wrong because I hadn’t convinced my acquaintances that I was on their side. Then I slapped myself silly for thinking that. Hell, I did good, because I established that I wasn’t a party-line toeing robot. I’m a free thinker and as such an endangered species. When we become extinct and the brainwashed members of the political cults take over completely, the country will be utterly lost.

Who is really The Enemy of Belize? Is it the guy selling out your country or the guy telling the truth about the sellout of your country? Answer that correctly and I’ll be the ‘P’ on your side.

*These traits have been widely observed in our leadership over the last few decades. They can appear in any order, and are not limited to those listed above. If you’ve seen others, please feel free to share with the author and readers by clicking ‘comment’ and making your addition.

License to Govern

A friend of mine saw something yesterday that made her angry, unreasonably so, I thought at first. She saw a government vehicle with red license plates, front and back, bearing the word ‘MINISTER’ in white letters. “It’s only a small law, I know, but then lawbreaking usually starts with the small ones” she observed. For those of you unfamiliar with these things, Belize government vehicles should have blue ‘B’ plates with numbers on them, not words. Those of you familiar with party politics here will understand why lesser men of the current government would have a problem with blue plates, though I shouldn’t have thought the numbers would be offensive.

Why, I asked myself, was my friend so upset? Against the backdrop of $40 million being given to someone who cares not one jot for the welfare of Belize and her people, why would a license plate costing less than $100 in taxpayer funds matter?

Of course, there’s the practical consideration that if twenty or so of these vehicles are distributed throughout the country, and one of them is in an accident or used in the commission of a crime, the usual method of identification is no longer viable for that vehicle.

But that’s not what had my friend so upset. Even she might not understand the basis for her fury, but I think it’s this: if you are a true leader and interested in the welfare of your people, if you have within you the kind of humility seen in the greatest of world leaders, you require no labels to be recognized in your greatness. Conversely, if you do require labels, your insistence on them indicates an inability to demonstrate the sort of leadership this country requires in order to survive its upcoming trials. It shows weakness of purpose. I think my friend was reacting from a subconscious fear that this kind of trivial thinking leads us down a dangerous road.

Here’s the deal MINISTERS, we need you to pay attention to what matters. Get our $40 million back (and all the other millions), put the thieves in jail, stop the killings, deal with the AIDS and drug epidemics, lock the pedophiles away from our children, make the tax evaders pay, and reduce our cost of living. The time you spend being preoccupied with the colour of a license plate and the newness of the vehicle it’s posted on distracts you from all of that. You want my respect? Make my life and lives of the rest of my countrymen better, and try your damndest to stick to the laws of Belize while you’re at it. That’s the only way to show me that you’re better than the last bunch.

In the meantime, you want to improve the appearance of your nice, new, shiny vehicles? Put Belize flags on them. These might serve as reminders to you of who paid for them.

Requiescant In Pace? Too Soon to Bury the Dead?

At the General Elections of 7th February, the people of Belize resoundingly underscored a message they had tried to send to the Musa/Fonseca conspiracy of dictatorship in the municipal and village council elections. But it appeared that these two could not hear us no matter how loudly we clamored for change from their status quo. Having lost on the national, municipal and rural stages, they tried to set the PUP stage for their victory at least at the party level.
So today, their own party, after years of willing entrapment in a gilded cage of their making, rejected them as we have, only not quite so resoundingly. Questions I have:

• Will the duo in question learn that their sun has really, truly set? Or will their machinations go into even higher gear?
• How much did their near-but-not-quite-there victory cost them? Though I imagine party funds oiled that machine, as foreign funds intended for us fueled 7th February’s failure at the national polls. That’s the kind of irony we onlookers enjoy.
• What role will the Leader Emeritus assume now? Instead of going gently into the good night, he allowed himself to be used to endorse Francis, thereby shooting party democracy in its metaphorical foot. So quo vadis, Mr Price?

I think the greatest service rendered by the People’s United Party between 7th February and today is the shattering of their own myth of immortality. But did they punish the Musa/Fonseca combine enough to crush the philosophy of greed forever?

What’s next for the boys (and girls) in blue? Tell me your thoughts and ideas.

Wish List

I have a wish list for Belize, and it's this:

1. Give us back all the millions, not just the 40 we're talking about right now...WE WANT IT ALL BACK!
2. Put a few people in jail (whoever you can catch, I'm not that choosy) as an example of what not to do to our country. Don't make the cells comfortable either.
3. Make sure that when those people get out of jail, they and their friends are so poor, they have to beg for a job cleaning streets.
4. Cut the PuppetMaster's strings -he has some around necks, and some attached to sticky, pudgy fingers. Cut them all clean. Leaders must lead for the benefit of the country, not its would-be owner.
5. Make political leaders understand that their five-year contract with the voters includes a performance clause with regard to the whole economy, not just their individual cronies and constituents. None are more equal than others in the polling booth.
6. Bring back hanging in a big way...you take my life, society takes yours. Fair exchange is no robbery, right?
7. Get the opposition party to wake up to its faults. You blues can't blame anyone but yourselves for your downfall, and we need you to accept that and move on to being a viable, strong, vocal opposition.
8. Have the media keep up the good work, and let the voters continue to learn the power of words to avert misdeeds.

What are your wishes? Send in your comments.

From Fury to Disgust, A Round Trip

At a weekly rate, new and more horrendous horrors are revealed before our eyes. I'm concerned that as the avalanche of revelatory documents piles up above our heads, we may forget the lesser or earlier details. For instance, do you remember the founding of UHS? Yeah, there's a story there, just ask around.

My outrage though, comes from insult. I, along with the Belizean people, have had my intelligence, not to mention my sense of fair play, thoroughly insulted, beyond the obvious financial injury committed. Remember when the former government, with grande temerity, suggested that they had supported UHS because Belize needs a tertiary care institution? How severe is the amnesia which collectively struck them. Francis, our Presumptive Party Leader, the Man, the Voice of Integrity, jumped into the media fray with that excuse when the guarantee story broke. He honestly forgot, poor lost boy, that there was a tertiary care institution with a much longer and less tarnished history than UHS. Any guesses? If Belize Medical Associates was your guess, then congratulations, you've managed to avoid contracting PUP Amnesia, a deadly disease that can kill political ambitions.

Now, having conveniently forgotten the existence of Belize Medical Associates in their quest for tertiary care salvation, the engineers of this debacle also could not carry out simple mathematical calculations. They couldn't even estimate that simply investing in developing the KHMH could give that tertiary care access they were crowing about. Don't quote me on this, but apparently it might even have cost less than 10 million Belize Dollars!

Making matters 40 million times worse, the Prime Minister of Belize, as he then was, decided that the founders/owners of UHS and their private sector lenders needed a government guarantee and loan terms that would ensure that, should they fail, they wouldn't be the ones to suffer. And, this I am willing to admit, he did a sterling job of it. None of them have yet convinced any of us that they are suffering. Nover forget that it's the safety net that takes the licking when the acrobat falls from the trapeze.

When we found out, we weren't our customary complacent selves. We protested mightily, we protested with all our lung power, all our brawn, all the energy we could muster. We told our leaders, the guys who we'd elected to represent our interests, that the whole idea of having taxpayers take on the oversized debt of a gluttonous private sector institution was distasteful, absolutely unacceptable. We told the lender to take our country to court, and warned him that we wouldn't give in without a fight. When the 'lee breeze' showed signs of reaching hurricane strength, the government backed down, or so we thought.

Calmness restored, the government went about the business of selling UHS. When they announced success, the lies began again, assuming they had ever stopped. On that now-famous radio show, the soon-to-be-ousted Prime Minister was forced to reveal that yes, he had condemned, er, committed, the government to spending $3.6 million per year at UHS, whether or not services of equivalent value were received. If that wasn't an election loser, I've no idea what would qualify for the title.

Fast forward to present revelations. We find that our exorbitant debt is paid in full, against our wishes. We further find that we have bought a hospital we do not own, with money we never had. "Curiouser and curiouser," quoth the current Prime Minister.

What could we have done with $40 million dollars? Money that was a gift to help us out of our artificially imposed poverty and misery? It helped, yes. It helped the undeserving few as they continued on their merry way, robbing the poor to give to the dirty rich. I'm outraged, and so should you be, because the moral of this particular story is that morals are increasingly decayed, decomposed in fact, almost beyond recognition. It is the ultimate in safe guesses that none of the major players in this chapter of our tragedy believes that they've done anything wrong. As citizens and taxpayers, it's our duty to point out at every opportunity that we will never accept such cavalier treatment of our resources ever again, by anyone.

If we don't, then the last lines of Edgar Allan Poe's, 'The Raven' becomes our curse. "And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor/Shall be lifted - nevermore!"

Nevermore, that's the watchword and don't you let them forget it.

Are We Awake Yet?

A new day, a new ruling party. The romance of the giant flags recedes, replaced by reality in living color. No one doubts what the truth will be, yet everyone believes a different truth. Can we hope for a happy ending that gives us a new beginning? Is it time? Or will new vehicles be bought once more, favors granted to a fortunate one or too few. Will the spirits of Orwellian swine take over their souls? We wonder aloud, ceaselessly, restlessly; our questions are waves flung against barren, answerless rocks. Ask the oracle, but she's the sphynx; your reward will be another riddle.

"I have six children," the woman cries. "I can't live eena no laptop!" Hallooo, is that reality we hear? A cry for 'sympathization' or of rage? Hope springs eternal, but springs run dry too...and leave us high...on infinite despair.

Nothing to do but wait. And watch. We watch like hawks, ready to swoop down on weakening prey, even as they fall victim to the desire for gain, succumb to the deadly poison that is greed.

It can't go wrong anymore. Do you worship mediocrity? Move on then. Find other game. We'll accept perfection, not a penny less.