Ah, Z...

I'll just say it right now, just shoot it straight from the hip: Z is no fool. Okay, there, I've said it.

But I'll say this as well: as smart as she is, she is utterly lacking in ethics and morals, and she has absolutely no sense of personal responsibility. In place of these things, she has survival skills second only to the legendary cockroach, the one who is expected to survive nuclear winter. Mark my words, Z will survive this latest episode, and will have no conscience whatsoever about having to sacrifice a few of her minions, her order-takers, to do it.

Mr. Davis, you're a fool. Kiran Squared, so are you both. You remain silent, you protect her; your names are in the news nonstop. The way things are shaping up, your fingerprints, and only yours, apparently will be found on the shovels that were used to bury the metaphorical bodies. So...TALK!

Throughout history, the most basic of leadership lessons have included the rule that the leader takes the blame for what happens on her watch. It's why the captain of the Titanic went down with his ship. I have yet to hear the mayor display enough maturity and leadership to take the blame for all these misadventures at City Hall. At the same time that she's not responsible for the bad deeds, she seems to be the only person who can be credited for what goes right, and her Councillors are so cowed or compromised that they too opt to remain silent in the face of it all.

At the higher levels and the party levels, Z enjoys the protection of powerful ministers, the kind who are also incapable of distinguishing right from wrong beyond making sure the law works for them and theirs and that the votes and the money flow their way. She is therefore the anointed heir to the Mesopotamia throne, misdeeds be damned. We are led by financial sociopaths, it seems. Their mantra? We can do whatever we want, the PUP did worse. That truth is fast fading away for you guys, nor did we vote you in so you could be ten percent less corrupt. You've turned out to be the same breed of dog in a different collar.

No, the guiltiest heads will never roll, and Belize is worse off for that fact.

Wanted: An Honest Mayor

Remember West Landivar? The residents won their first round against David Gegg, but it's not over, I'm sure. As for King's Park, you can't have forgotten so quickly what happened there. Mr Wagons, a confirmed racist himself, decided to whip out that often-abused word to defeat the residents, and when it didn't work, he got Zenaida on his side...he's pretty blunt and open about how he did that. Now, residents can't park in their driveways and a formerly peaceful, family-type neighbourhood is overrun by traffic and container trucks, and the peace is gone. This one has been a public and nasty battle, and is a classic example of what Zenaida is and does -for herself, with no regard for right and wrong, legal or illegal.

But how many of you know about the quiet battle that Bella Vista has been fighting? The only neighbourhood in the country with zoning legislation in place, a quiet area of hardworking families, Bella Vista is now under siege from David Gegg and other unscrupulous individuals who think laws are for suckers. David Fonseca's City Council developed Bella Vista's legislation at the urging of the residents, and it is a model for the rest of the city's neighbourhoods to follow. Unfortunately, lack of political will (moral weakness, as I think of it) prevented his City Council from following through with enforcement.

Now, this UDP City Council is itself acting in contravention of its own legislation solely on the Mayor's orders. And where is Zenaida? Well, according to the evidence, firmly in the camp of the wrongdoers...Mr Gegg isn't shy about saying how he got her there either, and he has publicly and viciously insulted those residents who are simply asking that he abide by the law. One resident recently wrote a letter to the City Councilors as a last-ditch effort before taking the matter to court, and it is damning in its account of Her Lordship's inaction, obstruction and outright sabotage. The letter is also copied to the Prime Minister, to Doug Singh, and to Lee Mark Chang, but you may be sure that none of them will do anything to thwart the Mayor. Such is her power (and their weakness), and such is her untouchable corruption.

When she's under attack, the Mayor's standard practice is to sit with her questioners and say whatever comes into her mind as an answer people want to hear -usually lies, and often blatantly self-contradictory, not to mention self-congratulatory. Today she'll blame Cabinet for her ineffectiveness, then tomorrow she'll blame her Council. However, in all this the pattern is that she is never effective, and it is never her fault. A little bit of martyrdom, some implied gender bias, the humble mention of God, and the recipe is prepared for her continuing without recrimination from those who could control her.

Meanwhile, laws and morality become less relevant each day her rule continues.

Things That Go Bang In The Night

It hasn’t yet hit the news, probably because our local news organizations have one-track minds on Election Day, but another grenade took flight last night.  Those of us who live in the general vicinity of Buttonwood Bay felt the shake and heard the sound of the explosion.  By this morning we knew: Comptroller of Customs Gregory Gibson, or at least his house, was the target of the tosser who threw the grenade.

I’ve never met Mr. Gibson, but like every other citizen of this country, I know about the generally corrupt nature of his subordinates.  After all, who among us has not come across a customs officer who is suddenly, unexplainably wealthy?  By no means should you assume that I’m saying all customs officers are corrupt, but the ones who are really, really are.  Mr. Gibson, however, hasn't had a whole lot said about him, and when no one in this town can get any decent rumours going, well, that fact says something about you.

So basically, I figure, as do most people, that someone tried to kill Mr. Gibson merely for doing his job.  Mind you, this does not bode well for my country, when people attempt to destroy a guy for his honesty.  Remember the pseudoephedrine a few months back?  I doubt this incident is delayed revenge for that, so I’m forced to wonder what’s leaking through Customs now.

Mister Prime Minister, Members of the Cabinet, let’s quit trying to pretend that the crime situation is under control; that our forces can handle the problem.  We need to be honest about what’s happening to our tiny country, or we’ll never be able to fix it, will we?  Tonight I’m too tired and angry to be eloquent.  I just want my country back.  It's time to quit treating us like children, patting us on the collective head, telling us that it isn’t what it looks like and that we don't understand the global realities.  Get real and get on with fixing the problem before the few remaining Mr. Gibsons of our world do get blown up. 

Give me my country back!  In the name of patriotism, begin to give good people like Mr. Gibson the weapons (and the forces) they need in order to fight for our right to a decent, safe way of life.  It's time to get serious, deadly serious.

On The Move

Those of you who follow these scribbles of mine will know that Friday night’s revelations on Channel 5 regarding Mayor Z’s possible ineligibility to run gave me nothing less than the kind of laughter that sets your whole body shaking and sends tears streaming down your face.

However, it does take the fun out of it if this is how the race ends, so after I got done laughing, I got down to some serious thinking –well, sort of serious.  First, what sort of proof was provided that she’s now fully resident at the palatial estate beyond the river and overlooking the sea?  Did someone provide pictures of (shudder) her underwear drawer?  Did they find a dresser full of hair-teasing tools and lotions and potions meant to keep her looking adorable for all except the Belize Times?  In other words, what constitutes incontrovertible proof?  I look forward to seeing if Z deems this one worth answering come Monday.

I will say that I do agree that if you’re not willing to live in a municipality, you ought not to wish to govern it either.  Therefore, I think that the quoted amendment was not only appropriate, but too long in coming.  Kudos to the UDP lawmakers no matter what their motivation was –and I hope they are not now persuaded to reverse course on the matter.  Remember the various City Councillors in the past who went abroad and ‘forgot’ to resign?  But maybe, since Z built and moved out to her mansion when she was Mayor, she kind of knew how her leadership of the City would turn out, no? Call her desertion more of an admission, if you will.

Over not a few drinks this weekend, I and some of my friends did wonder who spilled the beans re HomeGate.  I gave it 50/50 that it was her own party, and one or two others agreed.  Others in the group tended to cling to their faith in the diabolical nature of the PUP, and I gave them their props too.  Either way, this is an unambiguous test of the UDP leadership: will they suffer their own law to be overturned so as to maintain their candidate at any cost?  Or will they use this as the ‘out’ to rid themselves of a serious political liability?  Also, will Jules get his groove back where City Hall scoops are concerned?  Either way, Monday’s news should be interesting; let’s see what happens next. 

However this latest episode turns out, I will wend my unwilling way to the polls come Wednesday to cast my vote for God-knows-what to lead the City.  While I may vote for Chubby, let me make it absolutely clear that I do not regard him as anything other than a ‘NO’ vote for Zenaida.  Let’s face it, the man is so boring I can’t even stay awake long enough to mock him.

Yuh knoa, I wonder if Z has a spare floor in The Bates Motel in case we all need to move out of Belize City –or in case Creole Waggans wants to open a Ladyville branch.  She and Mr$ Moya can’t be using all three, can they?

Missing: One Belize City Mayor

Ten possibilities where she might be:

1. Fell into a pothole and awaiting rescue;
2. Drawing up plans for a new floor for her house –in case flood reaches the first three;
3. In New Zealand checking what they do when the streets wash away;
4. Got attacked by a renegade garbage pile;
5. Making change for a Dalla;
6. Resting her voice after all the pre-convention interviews;
7. Looking between her sofa cushions for $90K;
8. Writing her memoir “Fishy Cooperatives -How to Become the, Yuh Know, Mayor;”
9. Having her hair done in case Jules drops by;
10. Looking for parking on Albert Street.

If you know where she is, please ask her to report to the nearest media house (she should have the numbers) as her citizens are deeply concerned about her whereabouts.

Realizing Pothole Possibilities

I must congratulate those who've made our fair city what she is today. I refer of course, to Belize City, which has never before looked the way it does now –well, not since the streets were first paved, anyway. I congratulate our municipal leaders, because in its current condition, this city presents tremendous opportunities.

“But the streets,” you cry. “The streets are a complete mess!”

Okay, yes, I’ll concede that the streets are a mess. But seriously, we’ve had massive flooding in the districts, and obviously these floods have destroyed our city streets –personally, I blame the Cayo flood. And anyway, while you’re so focused on the potholes, you’re forgetting that we have two and a half new roundabouts to celebrate about. Be honest, when you’re trying to negotiate those roundabouts, heart in throat, trying not to get broadsided by a taxi driver, you forget all about the potholes, right? Thought so.

Personally, I think The Hans and Nandini Bhojwani Foundation, whatever that is, deserves our profound gratitude for making us forget our lesser problems as we negotiate their obstacle course. I for one would like the Foundation’s address so that I may personally share my feelings on the matter. I'm also depressed when I realize that traffic authorities in New Zealand will never know how much their inspiration affected our stress levels.

However, I digress from the main point of this article. I had started by saying that the current state of the city presents tremendous opportunities. No, you short-sighted today-thinkers, I’m not talking about road contracts to friendly contractors; that’s way too short-term and much too obvious. I’m talking about far deeper (if you’ll pardon my pun) options for commercial gain.

You see, the other day, my car fell into a pothole. I had a lot of time to think while I waited to be rescued. It was, after all, still daytime and the pothole was so deep that no one could hear the car horn or my calls for help. Thank heaven that when it got dark I was able to turn on the car’s lights, and a passerby saw the glow and called for rescue.

While I sat on the edge waiting for the crane to haul out the tow truck that fell in while trying to pull out my car, I made a few notes recording my epiphany. I hope that someone will forward these ideas to Her Lordship so that she can use them to raise a bit more revenue for the city:

1. Use the city streets for vehicle testing. I think that major auto companies worldwide can send their SUV prototypes here for road tests. If no more than five or ten pieces fall off a vehicle during a vigorous drive through the city (which must include a drive at moderate speed down Albert and up Regent Streets), and as long as one of those pieces isn't the engine, the auto company can assume that their prototype can go into production and be marketed as rugged enough for any environment.
   
2. Ditto for the tire manufacturers. The standards here would be a bit different, of course. I’d suggest that if only one tire blows out during a drive down those same streets, that’d be success in my book. However, it’ll be up to the engineers to decide if that’s a high enough success measure.
   
3. Consider the possibilities for oil exploration. I haven’t had a chance to research it, but I don’t recall hearing that the government sold exploration rights for Belize City. Now I don’t know that there’s any indication that oil deposits lie below the city, but it occurs to me that some potholes are sufficiently deep that less drilling would be required. So while there mightn’t be any oil, the bean counters should appreciate that exploration costs would certainly be considerably less than drilling inland, even if that’s where the oil actually is.
   
4. Many major cities worldwide contract with large studios to film movies on location in their city. Belize City has been one of these locations in the past, but no one has tried to attract one of these studios to Belize in quite some time. I think it’s time to revisit this income opportunity, and I’m sure that we can jumpstart the whole thing if we can find and attract a studio planning to film a remake of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Now that you’ve read this through, and your brain is spinning with the possibilities, I’m sure you too have your ideas. Feel free to submit them, either by clicking ‘comment’ at the end of this article if you’re reading it online, or if you’re reading this by e-mail, send that comment in to belizebeliever@gmail.com. The most creative submission gets to name a pothole of their choice, courtesy of the Belize City Council.