Sunday, November 23, 2008

Positiveness, Jules, Positiveness!

On 15th October, the Prime Minister summarized the Mayor’s receipt of an excess $90,000 in salary, stipend, or whateveryacallit, as a ‘miscommunication’ or ‘misunderstanding.’ If you did this in the private sector, your employer would zoom past those ‘mis’es, continue past ‘misappropriation’ and land on ‘embezzlement’ or ‘theft.’ Or, maybe he’d overlook the ‘mis’take if he thought you brought him several thousand customers in return, true? Guilt and results are inversely related, apparently. So, given that in the World of Politics, the only results that matter are how many convention votes she (ahem) commissioned, Her Lordship’s not guilty –it’s just reimbursement of expenses.

These days, the public sector is the center of our own Bizarro World, where beggars are choosers, losers win, and immorality is the new morality. Only under such rules can I believe that Mayor Z deserves this lee bonus the PM granted her. But given the number of personnel now on suspension from City Hall, she might be the only critter left minding the shop, except for the cleaning lady and a coupla Charlie Prices. Okay, let’s give her a raise! Summarizing the rest of a Mayor’s daily concerns:

Potholes? Trivial.

Garbage-strewn, dust-laden streets? Insignificant.

Overgrown rat-infested empty lots? Irrelevant!

Unpaid taxes we’re too lazy to collect? Wayne, say something! Do that whining voodoo that you do so well!

An invitation to fly halfway around the world? Come, Dalla Moya, pack your bags and carry mine, we fly Fus’ Class, yuh knoa?

Well, the lady disappeared for a bit (see Missing: One Belize City Mayor), but she’s back with a giggling vengeance (and wanting that raise) while many lesser folk are in trouble over ‘alleged fabrications’ (Mrs Perriot sure is erudite) of much smaller dalla values than $90,000 –but we finally get to say ‘misappropriation.’ Hardly seems fair, true? Here in Bizarro World, villainy is worshipped in exact proportion to the profit it returns.

Being taken for a fool is irritating, even more irritating than standing in line behind a guy who won’t stop picking his nose. Can you see it? Our politicians as belittling nosepickers? But if we, the people standing watching them dig for gold, remain polite and silent in our disgust, how can we expect them to stop?

So Jules, make sure the only colours you see are black and white –of the right or wrong kind. Whether someone is red or blue, Moya or Musa, Vega or Briceno, Fonseca or Zaldivar, it doesn’t matter. Once they injure our country, morally or fiscally, aim your cameras at them. That’s positiveness, Jules!

And Z, shrilling on about $20 million doesn’t make your $90,000 right; it just means you haven’t reached that level. Oh, and look up "red herring."  Get a mature grip on your own tattered reputation. Right now, your ego can’t fit in the whole three stories of the mansion you chose to build outside the limits of the battered city you ‘mis’represent, but your integrity couldn’t furnish a single room.

Keep gigglin’ Z, we’re watching.

1 comment:

  1. Amen to that. She's not a good mayor... that woman, as far as I'm concerned, needs to get the heck out of City Hall!