Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Emperors' New Memories -Will the Novelos Keep Their Shirts on?

This weekend’s newspapers report that BDF private Felis Sho was arrested on 31st October for stealing underwear. It seems that Sho’s crime was committed out of sympathy for Tony Novelo. Apparently, earlier that day, Sho heard about Novelo’s statement, later reported on Channel 7, that “I have lost everything...the banks have taken everything...I’m lucky I have this shirt on my back.” Sho has not yet explained why he thought ladies’ underwear would be the helpful thing, and sources nowhere close to the Novelos have suggested  that people ought not to worry, as the brothers intend to sue the shoes, pants and undies off the receiver.

Unfortunately, even if he wanted to, Tony Novelo would not be able to assist the misguided Sho, who must provide bail of $2,500 plus two sureties and appear back in court in December. Novelo has claimed that his meager salary is spoken for; that the vehicle he drives belongs to the company that employs him. Apparently even the Rolex he wears is only on loan from his employer to ‘make sure he gets to work on time.’

In barely related news, this week’s victory by Barack Obama was greeted by a great deal of cheering from many local Obama supporters. However, a few McCain supporters expressed their disappointment, suggesting that in large part the U.S. electorate was ‘ageist’ in their thinking. One supporter said “the fact that he couldn’t remember how many homes he owns doesn’t mean he’s senile, people don’t always keep track of these minor details.”

In support of her argument the young lady pointed to a copy of this week’s Reporter newspaper where Antonio Novelo couldn’t ‘recall’ if he owned 12,313 acres of land near the Mopan River in San Jose, Cayo district. ‘When Chebat asked him specifically about [the land], Novelo replied: “I will have to research that, as I cannot recall if I own that land.”’ In the Amandala, ‘Tony also claimed he could not recall owning any shares. According to him, before the receivership there were over 25 companies, including BeliTour, Novelo’s Limited, Novelo’s Bus Line, Western Transport, Northern Transport and Southern Transport, and he doesn’t know if he still has shares in any of them. Tony also couldn’t remember if he is a director of any of those companies.

Those present observed that because of his age no one claims that Novelo is senile even though he can't recall anything much. Both Tony and David, they said, are proof that bad memory can occur at any age and for reasons other than dementia and further, that Americans had judged McCain harshly and unfairly. “Although,” one guy added, “this also proves that the Novelo boys didn’t spend any significant portion of their $30 million loan on ginkgo biloba.” Maybe they should have; keeping the lies straight requires pristine powers of recall.


  1. Maybe Sho just wants to join the Japanese military:

  2. More esteemed men(especially our politikos)have not been taken to task for monies taken for personal'enhancement", so why should the Novelo's be any different. Furthermore those taken to court have pled 'brain farts' and have succeeded in getting their cases thrown out. SUVs, Rolex watches, million dollar mansions, shares in shady companies, acres and acres of land....that's a lot to digest-(oops, what's that foul odor)